1 Corinthians 6:12-20
12 “Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything.13 “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also.15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”

17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

In a recent very open conversation with my oldest daughter,Jill, we talked about views on sex. She really got me thinking as it why I really treated sex so casually throughout my life. I realized I did not grow up thinking sex was a precious loving act between a husband and wife. I was molested a couple of times in my life and when my mom was drinking she was always accusing my dad of having affairs so things really got misconstrued in my mind. As a teen sex was just a way of trying to feel loved or show love. I believed everyone was having sex, little did I know that was simply not true. Sure, some teens were but not that famous group of "everyone's doing it". As I look back now I realize that all I was doing was losing a piece of myself bit by bit.
So with my daughters there has always been joking about sex, just funny comments made by what I thought was me being a "cool" mom. Not that I was allowing my daughters to have sex but I thought I was keeping the subject light and open. But what Jill pointed out to me was I was just repeating the same pattern, not giving sex the weight it should have. I was treating it casual never saying wait til you are married,never talking about how it is a way to stay intimately connected to your spouse, to have that private time together. I rarely said God wants you to wait-at least with Jill it was rarely said. I am saying it now to Melissa and had a long talk with her recently and shared my exact thoughts. God does not want you to act married if you are not. There is a lot of pressure and mind games for teens when it comes to sex. Satan is seeing to that and it has always been there-sex sells,right?
Same old tapes played over in over in peoples mind, heck the bible is FULL of wrong sex- incest,adultery,bigamy- over and over again in the old testament.
I thought it was prudish to say wait til marriage, boy was I wrong!! Where did I get that idea from...holy cow! Can it be unrealistic in this day and time? Sure but I have hope and prayer for Melissa and all of my friends teenage kids, that they will wait. Wait until it is truly meaningful. The above passage clearly shows what God thinks. This topic will be leading me into my next posting-the darkest moment in my life and how God was there to carry me through. Stay tuned.....Thanks for reading!

Ecclesiastes 11:10
So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.

Obviously, there are a lot of verses regarding peace but I just liked this one so that is why I picked it. I was actually looking for something regarding cemeteries but couldn't find anything and found several on death but still liked the one above. Why cemeteries and death?? I am about to share why..
When is the last time you drove into a cemetery? Was it for a funeral? Not a good memory I'm sure,maybe not a peaceful time odds are even if you were at peace for the person passing, others around you crying or talking,etc. Not quiet time.
If you had a bad day at work or chaotic at home or just "one of those weeks" drive into a cemetery-drive into the back-hopefully there isn't a burial going on. It is so peaceful- there is not a sound, you might hear the traffic from the road but if it is big enough- you might not hear that either. I know this sounds crazy and I'm OK with that because it really can wipe away anything that is not giving me peace. Even if it is only 5 minutes worth, it is still peace. Usually when I do this, I just feel calm for the remaining of the day or longer.
It is quiet with lush green grass, beautiful flowers and stones with loving words. All I usually do is drive through slowly and that can be enough. Years ago, I used to get out and walk but have found that I don't even have to do that to get that overwhelming peace.
I like to look at old graveyards for just history reasons and talked to Mike last night about taking Melissa to one just to see the grave sites of 100 plus years old. It amazes me that the stones last that long and that it is something that was done back then just as it is today. But that is for a totally different reason.
I feel peace in other places as well, the library, a quiet park, in the woods, on a farm but it is a different peace. In the cemetery it is a peace with God. I just can't describe it and at the risk of sounding strange, I just had to share it. Might not work for you but it is worth a try on a day when you just need to exhale. Let me know if you do!
Do you know someone who has that gentle peaceful spirit that just oozes from them? I wish I was that way. I am loud. I laugh loud. I talk loud. My brain is loud-it just is non stop from one thing to the next.I feel like I have been that way for so many years and every time I meet someone with that kind spirit-it is the one trait I would love to breath in and absorb. I just do not have that gentle spirit, I try but it last 5 minutes. LOL So those peaceful times are important to me. Not that I can't be gentle and soothing when the time is appropriate, someone is sick and needs care or whatever it is, but on a normal every day basis forget it. But that's OK, I'm at peace about who I am and that God loves me for me. I can change a lot of things about myself but that would require a whole personality makeover and I don't think God wants me to change THAT much :) I loudly love life and laughter is how I now like to think of it!

Proverbs 5:14
22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him.23 He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.
Mark 9:43-48
43 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It's better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hells with two hands.s45 If your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It's better to enter eternal life with only one foot than to be thrown into hell with two feet.s47 And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. It's better to enter the Kingdom of God with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,48 `where the maggots never die and the fire never goes out.

Addiction runs through the genes of my family like blood runs through your veins. Goes back to my great grandfather,probably even farther then that but no one is left, of course, to let us know.
Addiction is a horrible disease that kills,destroys families,relationships and is very powerful. It can mold someone into being someone that you don't know. It comes in many forms,drugs,alcohol,gambling,food,sex,shopping and more. I don't think I have one person in my life right now that has not been effected by addiction whether themselves or someone they love.
I grew up in an alcoholic home, a home where from the outside it looked picture perfect. 2 good looking parents,3 children, a father who was having a very successful government career,we went to church every week,big house,money,nice neighborhood,a weekly maid,mom had her bridge club, I was in Blue Birds,etc on and on it goes. What went on behind closed doors was a nightmare. Drunken nights,abuse,screaming matches, on and on it goes. I definitely learned some traits of covering up, co dependence,what you saw and heard was not what happened and yes on and on it goes.
My mom is Queen of Denial, she will tell you that she never drank til cocktail hour,even to this day that is what she says and she has been sober since 1975! truth is I remember her coming to my elementary school a bit tipsy.
She had 3 siblings and 2 of the 3 plus herself were alcoholics and on they past it to their children. I truly believe it is a genetic, environmental condition. Any addiction is tough to beat. It is Satan at his worst. He is taking people and making them focus on a false idol, focus on anything but what God wants. For us to focus on Him.
I went from alcoholic to alcoholic in relationships- guess I thought I could fix them or it was what I was used to. Only good thing that came out of those is my daughter Jill, whose father was an addict and suffered for years til he passed away. We had talked to him at one point when she was about 16 and he had accepted Christ at that point. Still fell back into old habits but God would have never left him,probably just wept as he got farther away. Melissa's dad was not an addict and my husband Mike is not one. I had finally realized that I did not deserve abuse or chaos in my life. I am better then that and deserve to be loved.
If I wish addicts could just reach out to God and be cured, not that easy but He does make it possible. There are so many resources for addicts and all it takes is the first step. If you are an addict and can get on your knees and cry out to God- Help me Father- I need to battle this sin, to battle Satan, arm me with what I need to get help-truly pray and let go. I can PROMISE you-help will be right there waiting for you. In fact, if you need to talk and want someone to help you find help, let me know. We can pray together and ask God to guide us on where you need to go next.
Addiction destroys families,friends and yourself. If you think you are fooling everyone odds are you are only fooling yourself. Not everyone is as stupid as you think.
God is a jealous god, He wants you to love Him fully. He already loves you.

Proverbs 27:10
10 Never abandon a friend— either yours or your father's.When disaster strikes, you won't have to ask your brother for assistance. It's better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away.
Proverbs 27:17
17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

I have a variety of friends. I like it that way,always have since I was young. Some of my friends are people who might not be "popular". Not because they are mean or totally weird but maybe they are a bit "different" to people who think they, themselves, are normal. Maybe I'm "different" who knows but what I do know is the people who don't give them a shot are losing out. All my friends have big hearts, they are kind,loving,giving,caring,funny, smart people. They have BIG hearts and that is what I love about them. I never cared about being "popular" or even making popular choices when it comes to my friends. At one point in my life I made bad choices when it came to friends,ran with the wrong crowd, didn't care what I did or who I did it with- there were a few years in my life when those people were not big hearted people, luckily for me, I still had my true friends who hung in there with me and some are still my friend today. They had something going on in their life that made them different. 1 was pregnant at 15, 1 was trying to commit suicide on and off for years,1 was gay and yet while I was there for them, they were always there for me.
My best friend was an old neighbor of mine when Jill was about 7 or 8,so about 17 years ago. We have been friends ever since. She has bi polar and it can be tough being her friend sometimes, she knows it but ya know what? I wouldn't trade her for the world- she has been there for me EVERY time I have needed her,doesn't matter what it was,heck she has been there for my girls when they have needed her as well. Her loving heart and spirit make me a better person. People may not understand her illness and if they are not friends with her because of that, it is truly their loss because I would be lost without her. She lives in VA and I wish I had appreciated our time together more but I had no clue I would move 12 hours away. We plan on being nursing home buddies one day. :-)
I have my Facebook friends-some are my friends from church,childhood neighbors,school friends and family. Some of these people probably never gave me another thought after we lost touch-or thought of me a couple of times in 30 years or whatever and me of them as well. But I LOVE being in touch-it is awesome to see how they are today. Would we have stayed friends if I never left MD? Maybe, maybe not-doesn't matter- it is fun having them in my life now. Cool thing is-I think they all probably have big hearts too. Based on what they post or have said to me I think they are someones big hearted friend. I know if I said- hey I am passing through- VA,MD, FL or wherever let's get together- they would and 30 years would melt away.
My friend who was pregnant at 15,we have been in contact on and off through the years, she called me recently and it was like time never stopped. We picked right up where we left off, that is a true life friend. The one who was always trying to commit suicide-well she is a recluse in VA but we also keep in touch every now and again,time just has no boundaries. The gay teen-well we lost touch and I last researched her online and she is in a fed prison for embezzlement of a lot, A LOT, of money. Too bad I wasn't her friend while she was splurging- just kidding!!
My church friends have become so near and dear to me as well. Big hearted people-big hearted church and what a difference it has made in my life. Not only is my walk with God getting closer but I KNOW God has put my friends in my life as blessings. If you have good friends,friends who you can trust completely, count them as one of your many blessings.
My daughters are my friends, my 74 year old neighbor is my friend and my husband is my friend. I am humbled by them all.
All of them bring something different to my life-no matter whether it is a FB friend,a family member that is a friend, a friend from 30 years ago or a church friend. Friendships are one of life's treasures.
But what about your friendship with God? Do you rely on him like you do your friends? Can you trust Him with everything? Do you talk to Him every day? I know that I am trying to do so. While sometimes I forget to turn to Him, just like I might not turn to my friends to talk about a problem thinking I can handle it on my own, I am really trying to remember that He wants me to talk to Him. Ask Him for help, thank Him for my blessings,rely on Him when things get tough for me or someone else. TRUST Him- that is tough- trust that while I can't see what He is doing, He really does know His stuff and it will all be ok! My friendship with God is of the utmost importance because without that I would not know what blessings my friends really are!
So while I want you to know Christ better, I also want you to think about people who might need your friendship. Normal is overrated and while not all of my friends fall in the "different" category, I am so thankful that I have been given an open heart and mind to have friends like that because I would be missing out on so much. God wants us to love one another and just think what a better world this would be if everyone did.
I can only pray that I am a good friend to God and my friends as well.

My 76 year old mom is here visiting and I notice she looks at her watch a lot. When I say a lot I mean A LOT, like every 6 to 15 minutes. I always wonder what she is thinking when she does that- I want to say to her, hasn't enough time gone by in your life that you don't need to keep watching it go by? I think she just has such a schedule and never wants to be late anywhere that she is always checking. By doing that though,she is missing out on the present because she is always worried about what is coming up. I think many of us do that but we don't look at our watch constantly. How many times do you look at the clock while at work just in hopes that time has flown by so quitting time is close? What about the old saying-can't wait til the weekend! Why can't you wait? You never know what God has in store for you in between Wednesday and Friday! You may face a terrible trial on Saturday that you wish you could have turned back the clock to Tuesday! We are always rushing through life but it isn't rushing through life to get to our final destination-it is rushing towards whatever we think will be better then what we are going through at that moment. Sure, it is nice to have something to look forward to-like the weekend off or an upcoming event- but don't miss the opportunities prior to that in which you might be a blessing to someone. God might put someone in your life that you are meant to witness to or meant to even just give them a smile and friendly "Hello". God wants us to take our time, enjoy everything He has given us on earth to enjoy, so many things to look at,smell,taste and hear. So I hope the next time you are rushing through your week you will slow down and really take a good look at what you might be missing!
Here are some scriptures I found regarding time:
Ecc 3:1-8
1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
COL 4:5
5 Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity

So one of the reasons I started this blog is to get used to journaling. I am in a women's group through my church,lifechurch.tv, for weight loss. God actually started nudging me about turning to Him for my weight loss at the beginning of this year. I was having medical issues and had to stop working because of them. I started counting points (Weight Watchers method) at the beginning of December and had lost about 9 or 10 pounds by the first of the year. But I really got this nagging "feeling" that there was something more for me to reference-something biblical. So I started researching christian weight loss online. Some things popped out at me and others not so much. So I told my daughter,Jill, a secret desire I had- I wanted to lose weight with God's help and then start a group at church to share my journey. She said mom- you are meant to do it with a group- a journey together. Ugh, but the commitment of a group at my house and the lack of knowledge,what if I fail,etc etc...all the good old tapes playing in my head. So I asked her to pray and asked a friend to pray. But I didn't want anyone else knowing(inset rolling of eyes here). Then I asked another friend, then my pastor and I were emailing and I mentioned it to him, he thought it was a great idea. WHAT AM I DOING?? Can't I keep my fat mouth shut!! Come'on God, help me out here. Just let me know if you want to me to this or not. :) So I go to church that Saturday, a little more then a month ago. I started talking to the guy who heads up the lifegroups and said this is what I am thinking. Lifegroup for Losers. He loved it! All the while, i am still thinking..do you really want me to do this God? I don't know A THING about weight loss and using you for it. So Tony and I were standing there and our new full time volunteer,Katy, was listening. After Tony left, she said when do you think you will have this group? I was saying well IF I do..every other week..not sure..I don't know...she is just smiling she said I have to tell you- I was just praying about this on the way here! She starts telling me how she had belong to Weigh Down Workshop before moving to TN and she had lost 70 pounds. She was wanting to join the one here but it costs money and the nearest one is about 40 minutes away. She was interested in coming to whatever group we do. I didn't want to tell her that this past week when I was praying to God- I said if I do this I AM NOT doing Weigh Down Workshop God!! I had spent a lot of money years ago and it was soooo boring! No way ,no how! you know how to make God laugh right? Tell Him your plans! So I go into the baby room where I was helping out and a few minutes later my friend,Kim, comes in. Guess what was in her hand? The WDW book! She said "did you get my email? I thought I would show you this book." Seriously,God????
So, of course, that is what we are doing. At my house,every week, the WDW! God sure had to thump me over my head all the while laughing at my plans, that is for sure! The cool thing is-He provided me with a leader- Katy. All I am really doing is hosting it at my house-He knew what He was doing! I didn't have to have knowledge or even really a plan. He took care of it all.
The ladies in this group are so awesome and this group is just close knit. We might not hang out together during the week, most of us have families to take care of but I can guaranty you if one of us needs something, the rest would come calling. Some of us came from the women's group we had-so we just stopped that group since this is really a weekly needed check- in and learning experience.
Here is the cool thing- it is almost a dumb blonde feeling- we turn to God for all other aspects of our lives but when it comes to weight loss-where do we turn? Magazines,programs,books,videos anything sowing us how to count calories,fat grams,etc but the one place we do not turn is to God. I know- what a concept!! And it is awesome, god made our bodies. He programmed them to let you know when you are thirsty,hungry,sleepy. All we have to do is listen. The idea is so simplistic. Eat when you are hungry. Turned to God when you aren't but you want to chomp away. When you do eat,pray first, eat slowly,drink in between bites and savor. Start with what looks appealing to you on your plate. Not that I have done perfectly, believe me, this past week I did it more my way then God's but it is easy to hit the reset button and start again. Best news? I don't have to count points,grams of anything and I am at a total of 19 pounds gone so far!!
I eat what I want-it is great. I have been heavy almost all my life whether it was 20 pounds or 50 pounds or....
I have to run for now but this is really an awesome journey and I can't wait to share more!

This is something I can struggle with but only with certain people. Forgiveness. We hear about it a lot in church, read about it in the bible, talk to friends. Yet it seems to be a tough thing for a lot of us to do,why is that do you think? Just being human?
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another,forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
It can't be any clearer can it? I can forgive someone who has done something wrong to me once maybe twice. I have forgiven big and small things. HUGE things throughout my life-abuse,abandonment,betrayal. Small things such as yelling at me when it wasn't my fault,"white lies"etc. Yet there are a couple of people in my life that I really really struggle forgiving and here is the kink in the armor-they have not only hurt me but people in my family. That is what I think it comes down, mess with my family- you mess with me. I am very protective of my family it is just a trait I have, my daughters call me "Momma Dukes" when it starts to come out if I am ranting about someone doing them wrong. "Don't make me do a Momma Dukes on them" I'll say(whatever THAT means! LOL) An parent can relate that feeling. But who is really the true protector of my family?
God has forgiven us, I mean Jesus Christ shed His blood for us-so we can be forgiven-can't we shed a few tears towards forgiveness to others? I for one, am really going to work towards it.The bible teaches us to forgive readily and freely. Many times people do things even they don't understand themselves but there is always a reason why people behave the way they do. The same is with us believers, God in Christ forgives our wrongdoings even when we don't know why we did what we did.
Unforgiveness definitely gives Satan the opportunity to taking advantage of us. Unforgiveness leads to a bitterness that will poison us. It will take root until it grows into our attitude,personality, behavior, perspective and even relationships-including our relationship with God.
So as I grow closer to God, walk my walk better- I think forgiveness is in order and what I to remember is FORGAVE-- FOR God GAVE us His one and only Son.